`Now go and distract mom and dad so that I can slip out.' Distracting Mr and Mrs Green was not exactly difficult. Their mother was busy on the telephone to her sister on the West Coast, arranging a suitable date for a visit. Their father was in front of the television set, watching a prerecorded baseball game, his mobile phone to his ear as he left messages on the voicemail of various colleagues and contacts who had left him voicemails earlier in the day. Both parents waved vague goodbyes to their son as he descended the stairs and told them that he was going over to a chess club friend's house, though their mother did add to make sure he was back by 10:45 pm and that Aunt Abbie sent her love. Neither noticed that the trouser legs that extended from their son's coat flared out in a boot cut style, and were made of velour, not that his face was made up and that the bag under his arm was just the right size to hold a wig and purse. Louise watched her brother go out on his second date. So it was an accident when I was first seen but a lovely pants-spunk as I was mocked and laughed at by two girls. It wasn’t easy finding the right spot, because there was a risk of causing offence or upset, until I realised that red light districts were best. I was a regular visitor anyway, because standing at a bus stop or in a phone booth seeing some of the lovely skimpy-dressed girls at work gave me some lovely pants-spunks. I was able to spread a lot of mags around and ogle them while girls of the night would walk past and take the piss. Sometimes in exchange for a note they’d read my pervy captions, I would show them my Miss Melanie homemade mags, which surely tell the story of what an utter perv I am better than anything. Groups of girls walking along or standing by the road waiting for clients would call out, pointing at me, making the wanker sign, laugh and mock, while Wanker would be squirming in his seat, on the verge of spontaneous hands-free ecstasy, before bouncing up.
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